Fun Game

Shoot the Sheep

So fun and yet so frustrating! I'm old. Thus my Score of .2024

The Paper Route

Back in the day my mom had a gigantic paper route. Around 300 Daily Herald Newspapers and 100 or so Chicago Tribunes. These papers were delivered in most part to an apartment complex in Hoffman Estates. The apartments were 3 floors and the door to each floor had a lock. We used to help my mom run this route, and we were paid handsomely for our efforts. I believe Rob started out as the helper and eventually I was the man. The day started at about 3am and ended between 5:45 and 6:15am. Because of the nature of what we were doing and the fact that homeless people were sometimes sighted on the property my mom bought a can of Mace for herself and one for me or whichever kid was helping her that day.

One morning Matthew came along to deliver newspapers, and he was to accompany me. (He has always been a good pack mule and the papers were heavy as heck.) I never really carried the mace, but Matty was still little and he had the paper bag with the mace clipped to it. Everything was going well and Matt hadn't rubbed any mace in his eye this time out, so I was feeling good. Right near the end of the route Matt and I enter the back door of an apartment building and low and behold under the steps is a grimy looking homeless guy sleeping. As we pass Matt is startled by the man, and immediately reaches for the mace and takes aim on the sleeping hobo. Startled, I grabbed his arm, and said, "Dude, You can't Mace a sleeping person!". That poor guy was so close to having a very bad morning.

I still laugh my butt off when I think about what would have happened had this poor guy been maced in his sleep. Can you imagine how much that would suck? Just when you think life can't suck any more you get maced in the eyes while sleeping by an 8 year old. Poor hobo.

Robs Birthday

It was November 3rd, and as tradition would have it all of Robs friends were invited for a sleep over so we could play football the next day.

Rob was 13 or so and I was around 10 we were living in the house in Hanover Park. All the guys were there Duane, Vinny, Peter, Billy W., Me, and Rob and probably a couple others. At the time Rob had a paper route, and needless to say he had several large bags containing rubberbands.

That night around bedtime Vinny and I got a bright idea. We setup about 12 feet away from the entrance to Robs bedroom behind a little table, and as someone was coming out to go to the bathroom to brush their teeth shower or whatever we would pelt them mercilessly with rubber bands. Keep in mind they were in various stages of undress from tshirt and shorts to just shorts.

Since "the marks" were coming out one at a time and "Escaping" to the bathroom we had them pinned down in their and the loud music in Robs room assured we had more clueless victims. Finally one of them got up the guts to take one for the reluctant team and warned Rob. Things turned crazy when Rob opened another bag of rubber bands, and they started firing back. We had better cover but they had revenge in their heads. After about 2 hours and 1200 rubber bands or so the war was over. We each had a dozen or so welts, and the floor between our table and Robs room was covered with about half an inch of rubberbands.

The Dream Interpretor

Click to interpret your dream.

Just a fun little tool.

Home Stretch!

So, it's getting close...Sept 9th Closing HOPEFULLY!

The Fictionary

This post is dedicated to words and phrases and what they mean. Please feel free to add to this as you think of new words or phrases. I will link this article from the right side of the screen as The Fictionary.

Milka Milka Milka *dance*
Pronounced Just as it is written but accompanied by a totally sweet dance.
Definition I am very excited to have some milk - this dance and song is proof of said excitement.
Coined by Caiden

Waaaaaaaaaagggghhhhh!
Pronounced it varies...you'll know it when you hear it.
Definition I am hungry, angry, tired, soiled and or just wnat to be held and jostled
Coined by Gavin and revived by Logan (Thus begins Gavins long future of not having anything of his own that his brother doesn't imitate.)

Buka Buka Buka -
Pronounced Buck-a Buck-a Buck-a
Definition This is the sound a chicken makes
Coined By Savanna

Nomi Nomi Nomi -
Pronounced "know me know me know me"
Definition "I am not particularly in agreement with you and would like for you to shut up or I will keep making this noise.
Coined by Rebeca

Creebershobees -
Pronounced kreeeeeeee-ber-shoooooooooooow-beeeeeees
Definition I just died for the 47th time in Mario World I'm super pissed and the kids will tell if I swear. (Also don't be near by because I will pinch and or hit you.)
Coined by Mike

Creebershobileebees -
Pronounced
Definition A slight variation of the aforwementioned Creebershobees I died again, but this time I am not as pissed, but I ahve to say something. You might still get hit.
Coined by Mike

Look I'm a bull
Pronounced We all know
Definition You are about to get stabbed in the nipples with my "horns" (fingers).
Coined by Jason

Tarked Marty
Pronounced riiiight
Definition I am late fro class and I have to hurry or I will be this...
Coined by Lori

Are you Stupid?
Pronounced just like it looks
Definition This is a trick question. I have tried yes no and complete silence but there appears to be no right answer. :)
Coined by Dad

My Tummy Hurts
Pronounced "How it sounds"
Definition "If you value your sense of smell and would not like to dry heave, please evacuate the 25 foot radius around me because I just dropped some hardcore ass that might show up on the Richter Scale.
Coined by Rebeca

Tiltyder and Tiltyder
Pronounced "Til-t-dir and Til-t-dir"
Definition "Oh my god, the boxes are starting to fall over.
Coined by Rebeca

Ba Ba Ba Ba
Pronounced "Bah Bah Bah"
Definition "Could be a number of things...I would like some more Cheerios, Can I have some Juice, I have Crap In My Diaper, I Just Threw Something At Savanna's Head and It Made a Weird Sound, I Would Like Some Fries...
Really, it could and does mean anything and everything.
Coined by Caiden

NOOOOOOODLES
Pronouced "New-Dulls"
Definition "I am so excited to eat my Microwaved Ramen Noodles, that I will bust out into Electric Air Guitar and will be forced to yell out NOOOOODLES in the highest possible pitch known to man.
Coined by Mike

Cunning Stunt Bonus
Prounounced It depends on how careful you are
Definition when doing a cool stunt you get these points in a certain computer game...translation say it ten times fast and you will realize what Renee said in front of all of mikes friends and has never lived it down. HOW NAUGHTY!
Coined by Carmageddon
Perfected by Renee

Cobbity Shobbities
Prounounced Cobb-itee shobb-itees
Definition (We will never know it is part of that strange language that Dad spoke to his parents and since WE WERE NEVER TAUGHT IT...it remains a mystery) The way us children communicated when we wanted to speak spanish...what can we say, thats what is sounded like to us!
Coined by Rebeca and Michelle (I believe while playing office and writing in "Cursive") Cobbity shobbity cobbity shobbity!

Makel, Renekah
Pronounced MAH-KHEL, REN-EK-AH
Definition I am too frustrated and I am a Cuban native and I cannot put the right name to anyone child cause I have os many of them.
Coined by Dad

The wonders of shapeable sand

One summer the coolest thing happened. Dad got us a Sandbox! Well, not really a sand "box" per say, but a pile of sand dumped on the side of the house by a dump truck. We played in this sand all the time. I lost countless Matchbox and Hotwheel cars in there, and would build elaborate roads and tunnels. One day Rob joined me playing in the sand. We were digging holes like usual, and Rob happened upon the greatest treasure ever found in the sand pile. Shapeable sand. This was not ordinary sand it was sand with attitude. You didn't have to wet it because it stuck together by itself and was squishy, and shapeable Rob rolled it like Play Doh and folded it. He even went so far as to rub it on his face since it was so soft, but he wouldn't let me play with it. I decided there must be more treasure in here somewhere so I started digging furiously for my own piece of shapeable sand. After about 5 minutes Rob caught a familiar scent in the air. "Michael, Did you poop!?!", he asked me. Incredulous at the notion I shot back, "No I did not!” With the scent still strong in the air though he grabbed the back of my pants to check as you do when dealing with a small child who you believe is lying. Much to his chagrin I was not lying, and the wheels began to turn. I continued to dig until I too caught the scent of poo to which I checked my shoes and concluded I had not stepped in dog poo, and most certainly was not sitting in it. I began to scan the area for the offending odor as Rob had an epiphany. He smelled his hand. With a face of shock and horror he smelled the shapeable sand. "Arrrrrrgggghhhhhhh It's poop!", he screamed. He immediately threw the shapeable sand and jumped up to run in the house and washes his hands and face till they were red from scrubbing.

Needless to say he ruined sandbox time that day and mom came out and called me inside. "Did you find any shapeable sand Michael?" she asked. "No mom Rob wouldn't let me play with it", I said. She began to laugh and said well it serves him right it was a piece of poop.

Rob was traumatized, and never played in the sand again that I can remember.

The moral of the story is: (You decide)

I miss you!

I know you guys probably read this title and think oh well, she says it all the time. But I don't think you all understand how much I miss having your love and support constantly surrounding me. It makes me so sad to go back home because I get another fresh wave of what I have been have been missing. I just want to let you all know that I think that we have the best family in the world and I can't wait until we are all together again. Actually I really think about that everyday. It seems like I have a good thing going over here but if I am not by my family it is not worth it to me. Is that stupid?
I miss my sisters. The other day I almost started crying at IKEA because....I have to ask everyone who comes through my lane for their zip code...one girl came through and said her zip code....i noticed it wasn't from around Phoenix, so i asked what brought her to AZ....she said she was visiting her sister...I was like AWWWW! I wish my sisters could visit me! I was instantly homesick. I almost started crying, can you believe it? The girl looked at me like I was crazy. Michelle, Rebeca, Lori and Mom I don't think you understand how much just going to the mall with you guys meant to me. I loved just calling you and being like, do you wanna go to the mall? Because Lord knows there is nothing else to do in Huntley. lol Michelle I miss laying on your pillows because you always smell so good. I miss hanging out in your room because my room was always messy and cold. Rebeca I miss all of us trying to fit in your bed when Jason was out of town. I miss talking to you I know we miss each other a lot with our schedules. Lori, thank you for understanding when I call and vent to you. Thank you for being so compassionate and sensitive. I wish I had more of your qualities in myself.
I was just talking to a co-worker today about poor people. And I was like this may sound cheesy but I know that if I ever get into trouble anyone in my family would take me in in a second. That really means a lot to me.
Mom, I was asked the other day why I am so driven. I didn't have an answer. I think I know now. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid that I will never be able to buy you all the things that I know you deserve. You deserve so much Mom and I regret the fact that I will probably never be able to travel with you all the places that we want to go. I tried to apply for a credit card today and I got denied again. How depressing.
Kristina wrote me a thank you card the other day and I am just grateful that she remembers me. I feel like I have abandoned every one of my children. Caiden doesn't even know me. BUT he did give me two kisses!!
Mike and Lori I appreciate how you treat me like your own child. I really do. Mike, I loved all of our sleepless nights together, playing computer and drinking Pepsi. Even though you mostly always had to get up early the next morning, I loved how you stood up with me just to make me happy. That really means a lot to me. I regret that I am no good at Halo II.
Matt, I love how you never change. I love that I can always count on you to be insightful in your own nonsense way. I love that you invited me to Italy and made sure I never went hungry, even if that meant you had to. I love that I don't understand half of what you are talking about when you talk about the world ending in 2007. I love the fact that you and I are going to end up surviving by the moonlight with the Hopi Indians. I love that even though you have changed over the years, as have I, you are the same crazy Matthew.
Dad, thank you for always giving me a hard time when I call. I know its just because you want to talk to me longer. I really miss you Daddy and I don't think you believe it but I do. I miss pulling on your ears when we are driving to church, I miss driving in the van and making Michelle mom and you laugh. I miss curling up on your lap and watching Sci-Fi together. That channel really grew on me! :o)
I love you too Jason. Don't think I forgot about you. I am so glad that you fit into this family perfectly. Thank you for being such a great father to your children. Thank you for coming to Arizona and visiting me! Thank you for playing Go-karts with me. Thank you for paying. LOL that was so fun, I had the slow CAR!! I miss you and you will always be my brother Fooqua.
I just want everyone to know that I am happy out here and I am trying my best to make something of myself before I go back home. I love Victor and he is taking good care of me. So don't worry, but don't forget to call. I love and miss you all!

Sleeping Beauty...

I know the rest of you will probably gag, but I thought it was so cute.

Every morning I wake up Rebeca to give her a kiss and tell her I love her before I make my way off to work, and every morning in her sleep deprived drunken state, she seems confused and startled by me! : )

But this morning was different. I did my routine, got my wallet, phone and jewelry on and went to give her a kiss expecting the same song and dance (pinch her butt to wake her up which scares her, give her a kiss, she goes back into drunken sleep deprived state and I go on to work) but this time, when I pinched her butt, I startled her, but when she turned around to see who it was, she saw me and smiled and gave me a kiss. She looked like an angel. I know she will say she prolly looked all nasty first thing in the morning, but she really looked like an angel. Rebeca, you are so beautiful, and I know you never believe me when I say it, but it is true, you are a sexy bitch!!! ; )

Nothing major, but I just wanted Rebeca to know that that started my day off on a good note, I thought that was so cute.

I love you!

I finally got you!!

Ok so this story is one of my greatest accomplishments before marriage and kids. Everyone knows how easy it is to "scare" me, expecially my lovely brother Michael. And if you know how easy it is to scare me then you must know how much I absolutly hate it. My story goes like this. Michael has been scaring the shit out of me since forever i dont remember a time when mike didnt scare me and then laugh histarically as i am beating the crap out of him. So, i set out to get him, i kept trying and thinking of ways to "get" him, since he knew my plan he was always on the watch....... Except this one night. Anyone that lived in the Huntley house back in the day knows that at the end of the hall outside of my parents room(right by the stairs) was were we pilled the laundry, no basket just on the floor. I was walking up the stairs one night and it dawned on me i swear it was a light baulb moment and i heard singing in the backround thats how great this moment was. I knew Mike would be coming up since at this time his room was upstairs. My parents were in there bedroom, so i shut off the hall light and crawled into the dirty clothes covering the bottom of my parents door so there was abosolutly no light, i knew Mike would not turn on hall light because we seldom did we new those stairs like the back of our hands. I can not remember how long i waited there but i was so excited when i heard Mikes voice as he started up the stairs i was hiding so still trying not to get to excited because i didnt want to ruin this amazing moment. As he put his foot on the floor and rounded the corner ( it was like i could here is ever step) i jumped out of the smelly laundry keeping low just in case there were punches thrown because i new he would be so scared and "yelled boo" he screemed like a little girl and started to run i was laughing so hard i managed to say "I finally got you". Even though it was only a split second that he was scared, i got him good and he new it we laughed and he told me that was good thinking. I think he had a new found respect for me even though he still continued to scare me they got less and less i think because he new "pay back is a Bitch" :)