I miss you!

I know you guys probably read this title and think oh well, she says it all the time. But I don't think you all understand how much I miss having your love and support constantly surrounding me. It makes me so sad to go back home because I get another fresh wave of what I have been have been missing. I just want to let you all know that I think that we have the best family in the world and I can't wait until we are all together again. Actually I really think about that everyday. It seems like I have a good thing going over here but if I am not by my family it is not worth it to me. Is that stupid?
I miss my sisters. The other day I almost started crying at IKEA because....I have to ask everyone who comes through my lane for their zip code...one girl came through and said her zip code....i noticed it wasn't from around Phoenix, so i asked what brought her to AZ....she said she was visiting her sister...I was like AWWWW! I wish my sisters could visit me! I was instantly homesick. I almost started crying, can you believe it? The girl looked at me like I was crazy. Michelle, Rebeca, Lori and Mom I don't think you understand how much just going to the mall with you guys meant to me. I loved just calling you and being like, do you wanna go to the mall? Because Lord knows there is nothing else to do in Huntley. lol Michelle I miss laying on your pillows because you always smell so good. I miss hanging out in your room because my room was always messy and cold. Rebeca I miss all of us trying to fit in your bed when Jason was out of town. I miss talking to you I know we miss each other a lot with our schedules. Lori, thank you for understanding when I call and vent to you. Thank you for being so compassionate and sensitive. I wish I had more of your qualities in myself.
I was just talking to a co-worker today about poor people. And I was like this may sound cheesy but I know that if I ever get into trouble anyone in my family would take me in in a second. That really means a lot to me.
Mom, I was asked the other day why I am so driven. I didn't have an answer. I think I know now. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid that I will never be able to buy you all the things that I know you deserve. You deserve so much Mom and I regret the fact that I will probably never be able to travel with you all the places that we want to go. I tried to apply for a credit card today and I got denied again. How depressing.
Kristina wrote me a thank you card the other day and I am just grateful that she remembers me. I feel like I have abandoned every one of my children. Caiden doesn't even know me. BUT he did give me two kisses!!
Mike and Lori I appreciate how you treat me like your own child. I really do. Mike, I loved all of our sleepless nights together, playing computer and drinking Pepsi. Even though you mostly always had to get up early the next morning, I loved how you stood up with me just to make me happy. That really means a lot to me. I regret that I am no good at Halo II.
Matt, I love how you never change. I love that I can always count on you to be insightful in your own nonsense way. I love that you invited me to Italy and made sure I never went hungry, even if that meant you had to. I love that I don't understand half of what you are talking about when you talk about the world ending in 2007. I love the fact that you and I are going to end up surviving by the moonlight with the Hopi Indians. I love that even though you have changed over the years, as have I, you are the same crazy Matthew.
Dad, thank you for always giving me a hard time when I call. I know its just because you want to talk to me longer. I really miss you Daddy and I don't think you believe it but I do. I miss pulling on your ears when we are driving to church, I miss driving in the van and making Michelle mom and you laugh. I miss curling up on your lap and watching Sci-Fi together. That channel really grew on me! :o)
I love you too Jason. Don't think I forgot about you. I am so glad that you fit into this family perfectly. Thank you for being such a great father to your children. Thank you for coming to Arizona and visiting me! Thank you for playing Go-karts with me. Thank you for paying. LOL that was so fun, I had the slow CAR!! I miss you and you will always be my brother Fooqua.
I just want everyone to know that I am happy out here and I am trying my best to make something of myself before I go back home. I love Victor and he is taking good care of me. So don't worry, but don't forget to call. I love and miss you all!