Here's A Serious One...

It is probably the most happy and most overcome with emotions I had experienced in my life.

It as February 24th and Rebeca had already been trying to get Caiden out for almost 2 hours before they wheeled her back to surgery for an emergency C-Section. As I sat there and watched them wheel her off, the nurse came and got me, gave me some scrubs and directed me to the waiting room before I could join my wife in the O.R. As I sit and wait I began to quietly cry, because this scenario was all to familiar to me. It felt like dejavu and I must admit, I thought I was preparing myself for another Tyler situation.

I remember sitting in there looking down at the footies they gave me thinking they still don't come close to fitting!!! Everything was so similar that it frightened me. I was forced to go back and remember everything about that day...Rebeca bleeding, doubled over in pain, whisking her away, seeing my child's chest vigorously pumping up and down trying to get air, to the ultimate heartbreak with the nurse saying that our son had made the decision for us...he did not make it. (if you are reading this thinking I am strong for getting through it, sorry to dissappoint but I am crying right now.)

But, Tyler made it possible for the moment I started to tell you about.

When the nurse finally came to bring me back to Bec, I was numb. They took me in, I sat next to my wife and I was horrified. I honestly thought Caiden was not going to make it.

So when they removed him...and I heard him cry...hahaha...tears coming again...I cannot describe the feeling. I was SO happy and SO relieved to hear even that much that I knew everything was going to be alright. And as he sit there and cry, I said 'Caiden' and he turned his head, looked at me in the eyes and stopped crying. VERY moving.

What's scarey is I actually love him more today than that moment...and Im sure that love will continue to grow as it has everyday since then.

Caiden, Daddy loves you so much! I hope this is around when you understand what it is saying, and I know mommy and I will let you know where your middle name came from so you can be as proud of it as we are that your big brother sacrificed so you would have a better life. I need to end this, far to hot to be crying this much!

And Bec, my love, you made me so proud that day! I am blessed to have you as the mother of my children.